IF you want to talk gibberish that automated chat its easy but useless. Talking to a real person appears to be Impossible

Dont bother. Train your people how to use doorbell. Common sense is not so common. If Canada post, Fedex and UPS can, why cant PuroLATER or PuroNEVER use the doorbell? During these hard times, the lease you can do is deliver the package in the most sensible way. Do it right the first time. If others can, why cant you? We need our packages and not your promises. Your company is a big joke. Modern pirates of our age.

You might as well just do your own dentistry, or ram bamboo sticks under each of your fingernails. Just as painful, but you might actually get results.